Another blog post from Logan… this one is the perfect follow up to my last post about Too Many Women in My Head. I am one thankful mom that the guiding voice in Logan’s head is the Holy Spirit.
I’ll say it again later on, but I might as well begin with it, too. This story isn’t about me. It’s about God. It’s about my Father in Heaven who sometimes gives goodness, not because I deserve jack squat, but just because He wants to.
It’s a story most of you have either heard or lived at some point in your life. I pulled over to help a stranded chick change her tire. No biggie. Happens every day all over Texas, I’m sure. And normally the guy leaves the situation feeling pretty darn manly and good about himself. And normally I’d fall into that category. But this time, I can say with 100% sincerity that I left without an ounce of pride. I don’t blame you if you doubt that statement. I probably would, too. Hear me out on what was going down beforehand though, and you’ll see why I left humbled.
It’d been a long day at the end of a long week. Not the kind of long week filled with tons of work and stress. The opposite kind. The kind of week where I decided to take some time off from studying. And, instead of feeling relaxed and chill at the end of it, I felt like a lazy, worthless bum.
So there I am heading back to Crawford late-ish from College Station, and I have the brilliant idea to listen to a TED podcast (if you don’t know what TED Talks are…you’re wrong). The problem with this particular podcast is it’s discussing the broken systems in our nation and what we can do to fix them. The discussion itself was actually quite riveting, but rather than focusing on the coolness of the speaker’s ideas, I begin to dwell on two things. One, no matter what I or anybody else does, our world and its people seem to be irreparably broken. And two, there’s no way God can use me to do anything to help.
I’ll admit it’s a weakness. I tend to get overwhelmed by really big problems and feel defeated from the get-go. So naturally, there I am feeling flat useless to ever do anything significant in God’s great plan, and then I see a little white car on the side of Highway 6. I’m tired. It’s cold. It’s dark. And right as I’ve about made of up my mind to keep going, I get a nudge from the Holy Spirit. I feel His presence telling me to turn around.
I don’t always take the hint, but this time I did. As you’d expect, she’s just a nice girl coming from Aggieland trying to get back home up in Dallas. I could tell she was upset, and I did my best to engage in distracting conversation while reading the manual and pretending to halfway know what I was doing. I do eventually get the spare rigged on there. I told her I’d follow her as far as I could before exiting and gave her my number to call in case anything went wrong. She proceeds to thank me several times, which is the point where I get awkward, tell her to praise the good Lord and not me, and then go get in my car.
As I begin to drive back home, I notice my feelings of worthlessness pulled the same 180 that my car did. Changing a tire isn’t much, but it reminded me I am capable of doing some good. That God still wants to use me, even if it’s for something as small as stopping to help someone.
Then it hits me. God looked down and saw two people in need. Katie (Katy? Don’t know. Didn’t ask.) needed a helper. I needed a reminder. She likely thought she got the better end of the deal. I’d have to disagree.
I arrived home with a couple thoughts in mind. First, the Holy Spirit is a wonderful and powerful gift, meant to guide us for good at all times if only we would hear and obey. It still befuddles me at times that Jesus would tell the disciples they were better off having the Holy Spirit than being in His physical presence, but there are other times when I understand entirely the truth behind those words Jesus spoke.
Second, my God is an awesome God. A God who is able to orchestrate all things at all times for the good of those who love Him. And my life would be empty and purposeless without Him.